Journeys Through Grief Newsletter

by Peggy Sweeney

Peggy Sweeney

When you hear the word child, what do you image? The smiling face of a little boy or girl or your growing teenager? Do you visualize a young ballerina or soccer player? Maybe it is a young adult complaining of acne, struggling with peer pressure, or begging for the car. I’m sure your mental picture will be one of a happy, smiling child.

Unfortunately, for many children in today’s world, traumatic events have occurred in their young lives that prevent them from fulfilling their most important task—being a kid and enjoying the rewards of those carefree days. They have been unwillingly forced to grow up faster than their peers without benefit of directives, manuals, or mentors. They may have experienced the death of a parent, sibling, classmate, or pet. Their parents may have dragged them through a bitter divorce and made them choose sides. They may be innocent victims of sexual, physical, or emotional abuse, abandonment, or an alcohol- or drug-dependent parent(s). Their so-called friends may bully or shun them or call them names that hurt. Classmates and teachers may judge them as undesirable companions or students because their dad or mom has been arrested or is serving time in prison. What should be a happy, fun-filled time of their life is instead a day-to-day struggle to appear happy and normal. Their smiles and laughter have been replaced with sadness and tears. They seek comfort yet find no one who will ease their pain or help them deal with their feelings of anger, guilt, and loneliness.

Adults are seldom prepared to cope with their own traumas or grief much less those of a child they love. As a result, these children become the forgotten victims. We assume kids recover from the death of a loved one quite readily. Do not be fooled. This is not usually the case. Continue reading →

by Liz Murray
Peterson Hospice

Liz Murray

How often, as adults, have we found ourselves grieving a loss—any loss—and never thought that our children might also be grieving? When grief hits us we are often so overwhelmed and unable to think clearly that we cannot begin to think of what our children are feeling. Haven’t we, as a society, thought that we should shield our children from any pain? The sign of a good parent is one that takes care of their children so they live a happy life and grow up to be happy, well adjusted adults. What do “we” do to prepare our children to cope with the many losses they will experience in life: death, divorce, moves, natural disasters, leaving home, pet loss, and so many others that will “slap them up the side of the head?”

Loss is a natural part of our life and it is our job to prepare our children to cope with it, process it, and learn to grow from it. We should not consider shielding our children from all of the grief that will occur in life; instead, teach them to experience it with your loving support so they will learn how to cope when they are on their own. Continue reading →

by Lorraine LeMon

Just like no two people are alike …no two people express grief the same ways. However, the one thing that they all share is the fact that “grieving is a process” and we all process it differently.

Lorraine LeMon

Arts as a Tool… process over project
How does it work? Imagery and the arts — the first forms of healing — are being retrieved today by the creative arts therapies. On the rise now are many approaches to the use of Art Therapy which is being used to identify and help heal pain and illness in the body. One of the most significant things that I have found with the Arts is that they truly have a way of reaching the heart and helping the individual slowly and safely uncover and discover things within.

Using the Arts to Reach the Hearts
For the past eight years, we at Art2Heart have stood firm on the fact that the Fine and Performing Arts can be a great tool in helping young people acquire self esteem, self worth. During those eight years, we have watched that very thing take place in the lives of many children in our program. One of the ways this happens is that the arts have an uncanny but unique way of helping young people look deep inside their hearts and balance out the good with the bad. Once kids see that they do have gifts and talents, this realization gives them strength to deal with the negative circumstances in life. Studies have shown that trauma caused by injury, abuse, or grief can sometimes leave the person in a sort of altered state, seemingly living normal lives while storing up the painful memories keeping them tucked away. But the Arts can slowly help them discover a safe way to let these memories out and begin a journey to process through them. Continue reading →